5.16

reflecting on what it means when a year ends. i'd thought 2008 was bad and that 2009 would be better. tchah, no such luck. 2009 kicked me in the teeth.
i have no expectations from 2010 so maybe it will be better.

5.15

thinking that i must practise reading between the lines.

5.14

thinking morbid thoughts.
i wonder if dying is painful. i hope not, i hope it's just like falling asleep, you are awake and then ping! you are asleep. or dead. that simple. aah well we'll all find out in due course.

5.13

thinking that the realisation "he's just not that into you" is hugely liberating. and thinking that no matter who loves whom, perhaps no one is ever truly loved in the way they want to be.

5.12

thinking of sleep.
uninterrupted deep dreamless sleep. in a large bed with soft sheets and huge fat pillows. for as many hours as i need. no doorbells, no phonecalls, no emails on the blackberry.
i need sleep. i want sleep. i crave sleep.

5.11

thinking of romance. of poetry. of the romance in poetry and the poetry of romance. since i read this poem yesterday.

When you find a man
Who transforms
Every part of you
Into poetry,
Who makes each one of your hairs
Into a poem,
When you find a man,
Capable,
As I am
Of bathing and adorning you
With poetry,
I will beg you
To follow him without hesitation,
It is not important
That you belong to me or him
But that you belong to poetry.

by nizar qabbani
translated by bassam k. frangieh and clementina r. brown

5.10

thinking 'why bother'...

5.9

thinking this time i will complete reading the lord of the rings series. i have progressed far beyond the point at which i normally gave up.

5.8

thinking of priorities, relationships and where they intersect.

also thinking, being sensible is boring and over-rated. just saying.

5.7

thinking of how sleep deprived i am. there may be some truth to that old hindu chestnut about sleeping east-west not north-south, after all. not one single night in the new house /bedroom have i slept peacefully through the night. it's like a series of dreams, one after another all night long. i have worked, watched movies and answered my own questions in my dreams. now all i can think of is how / when will i sleep well again....

5.6

thinking i may have the hang of this eventually. got 12 words on the eco times crossword today as well, and no cheating too :-)

5.5

thinking about converting 'wants' into 'needs' - just calls for some creative rationalising.
also thinking about how much i used to enjoy my old wren & martin grammar book. i fear i may have been a weird kid.

5.3

thinking i must be pretty smart to get 11 words on a cryptic crossword. then i remember... i cheated a teeny bit :-/

5.2

thinking the only reason i'd want to be a man is so i could have a wife to take care of all the stuff i didn't have time for. delegate and be happy!

5.1

thinking that there are simply too many things in my world to think about. which perhaps explains my policy of drifting along and taking each day as it comes.

5

the new series is going to be my thought of the day. not stuff like proverbs and sayings... just something i thought of each day.