2.18

another of my favourites by dorothy parker. succinct, pointed and crystal clear advice to anyone contemplating suicide. pricelessly pithy.

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

-Dorothy Parker

2.17

the famous one by dorothy parker.

One Perfect Rose

A single flow'r he sent me, since we met.
All tenderly his messenger he chose;
Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet -
One perfect rose.
I knew the language of the floweret;
'My fragile leaves,' it said, 'his heart enclose.'
Love long has taken for his amulet
One perfect rose.
Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
One perfect rose.

-Dorothy Parker

2.14

dorothy parker was an american writer and poet very well-known for her acerbic remarks and caustic wit. she was the one who said 'men seldom make passes at women who wear glasses' and in a review of some unfortunate book "this not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. it should be thrown with great force"
in comparison, the little verse i've chosen is positively mellow. i generally don't do year-end reviews or new-year resolutions, this is probably the closest i can get to either.

Inventory

Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I’d been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

- Dorothy Parker